Uninternally Consistant.

I am drunk on so much rageahol right now.

I was the only glassie rostered on at work tonight. It was state of fucking origin. I work at a fucking football club. There were hundreds of people there, it was packed, like shoulder to shoulder. Also after the game they held a search for a model contest which I found pretty fuckin' degrading. Especially when I heard one dude shouting in the general direction of the stage about how one of the women clearly had fake breasts. Like, fucker, you're participating in a pretty patriarchal event wherein the soley female contestants are judged entirely on their appearance and they're doing it for your pleasure and entertainment. N'you're surprised, nay, offended that they would artificially enhance said appearance? The makeup was fake too y'know, but I'm pretty fucking sure you'd complain if she went without it. Can't win for losing.

Copy pasted from the description I gave of my general state while working, to friends in an MSN conversation:

My entire being was split into three general categories. The first part was me trying to be as optimal and efficient as possible. Like, I didn't have the mathematic abilities or data to pull off running dijkstra's algorithm, but generally I was making active choices to be efficient as fucking possible in the shitstorm.

The second part was making sure if I had to push someone out of my way to get somewhere I was pushing the most confident looking large football dudes possible. The type who like to own the space they're in with the sense of entitlement so wide they think that they don't deserve to be moved, someone weaker should give up their space instead.

The third part was showing incandescent rage regarding the fact that management is thoroughly _abusing_ my tendency to do the first part in shitstorms. Because if they're going to abuse me like this, I shouldn't have to act like I'm _happy_ about it.

The context of that last bit: I feel bad if I do badly at something I'm being paid to do, it makes me feel like a failed human or some shit. Part of being good at my job means acting pleasant and social. I'm bad at both of those things, but I certainly try. Not tonight though. If I had to list the most taking thing about my job it'd be the having to act pleasant at all times, being hit on, or perhaps a combination of those two points: Having to act pleasant towards folk who are hitting on me. (I mean, a lot of them are entitled arseholes about it. N'drunk.) I rank these things as worse than cleaning the vomit in the tiny contained toilet cubicles, with the sort of smell you imagine vomit would have in a confined space.

I dropped the nice act tonight.

'Cause seriously? Fuck it.

I just bought a newspaper based in the cover story. I might write a more in depth version of what I want to say about this in my feminist blog, but raw unformed thoughts go here.

The article says that since prostitution has been legalised in Sydney, illegal streetwalking, illegal unsafe venues, trafficking and sex slavery have increased. I could have told them that would happen, being as that is what always happens. Demand for prostitution increases since the Johns feel entitled and know they aren't breaking the law. When deman in a place increase, thats when the trafficked slave girls get sent there. Legal venues cost the girls more money to work in, since the legal venues have higher running costs to maintain the testing of ze girls, implement the safety measures, and otherwise make sure the place is legal. While some women in prostitution are making good enough dough this isn't a problem, a lot aren't making great money and can't really afford the increased pay cuts, or feel the illegal place is worth the risk for the extra money.

Like. When I write my proper article I'll reference proper academic sources, but seriously, this shit isn't hard. I feel like legislators don't research these things as this ain't hard to look up, and I wonder if pimps and ze minority of prostitutes in good situations and such were the ones lobbying for legalisation since they get so much benefit out of the whole shebang.

BLAH. Swedish model ftw. (Though that has its issues too, I feel its not as bad as other available alternatives.)

I think I may have a fangirlish crush on Spock as a character. I mean the version in the movie, the one who was filled with emotion, more like an extremely repressed man trying to ignore the feelin's n'cloak everything in logic. Eee.

I have a presentation at three in the afternoon where I need to give a six minute long presentation arguing that machines will never replicate human intelligence. Notes are only allowed to be small bullet points. After this six minutes, someone who had to argue that machines _will_ replicate human intelligence will ask me a bunch of directed questions so that they can try and prove their own point. I'll have to answer these on the spot, as I can only guess what they'll ask me.

Eek. I can now run through the mathematic proof that the halting problem is non-computable off the top of my head. Thats... not really very interesting at all.

Wish me luck?

If you like alice in wonderland, trippyness and techno music, this might just be for you: http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?rows=18&cols=18&id=pAwR6w2TgxY&startZoom=1

Long time since I'v made a post. I'm at Cavs. A buch of things have happened since my last post, but that was a long time ago, so they would, wouldn't they? University is going well enough so far, there have been some BATSHIT events going on at my house. I want to move out.

I'm watching that Marie Antointte movie, the one with Ms. Dunst in it. I've not seen it before now. So far its very pretty.

Bleh. Not much to say.

A friend told me recently that I was an alcoholic. I disputed this. He said "You're an alco Annie. I don't love you less for it. But you're a fucking alco." Others have said this to me too since then. But they strike me as so _straight_ as such. N'I don't think they're correct. But I fear they might be.

Damn.

((This is a personal expression of opinion/thought, as thats what I use online journals for. It is _not_ a cry for attention or help. Odd advice or similar won't help methinks. Also: I think I'm fine.))

Blah. My floral Anna House dress s'one of my favourites. It got ruined in the wash just now. Pink inkstains on the floral pattern. Cue wailing attack. I wore that one all the time everywhere because it was just so easy to put on, it could be dressed up or down, had a simple elegance. N'now... Blah.

*Very frowny face*

I'm going to put on some ncer clothes, prepare a backpack and head to Cavs. I'll stay the night, then he's having birthday celebrations at his dads house tomorrow and a little drinking party after seeing his dad. (Cav has made a little agreement with himself that he will no drink in front of his underage little brother, so while he could have some drinks at his dads, he's not going to and is separating that par-tay bit.)

Thinking of cosplaying for Supanova next year. Somone suggested I go as aber from Fate Stay Night. I don't knnow the character, but I looked up the outfit and I love it. Body/hair wise I can pull it off too. Now to watch the series and see if I like the character. If I do then I'll shat I can do about costume makery.

I feel sick. I think I cought a stomach bug from a guest who was over at Cavs while I was. Also I'm disheartened about various things. Guess thats normal though?. I have university work to do. A fair bit by next week. I ought to get started on some shit today but I doubt I will.

Blah. I started the semester really hyped about uni, but m getting progressively unhyped. I'll be right, I'll be right.

Fuckin' hell. I've been rostered on for no shifts next week. None of the glassies have any shifts except for one guy who gets to come in for two hours for an event on Saturday. They're going to get barstaff to do our jobs, that is, the remaining barstaff because a few of them have no shifts either.
Also a fair few of the kitchen staff have no shifts.

One guy. Well, the restaurant manager left. So this guy replaced him for a few months. The original restaurant manager returns, and this guy goes from 45 hours a week to 0.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Cav lives in Brisbane now. I went to see him for a few days. Most of the week to be honest. Monday through to this afternoon. When I came home I found out the new laptop I'd just recently bought myself had been stolen from the house while I was gone. I took $600 out of my savings account to buy it because I really thought a laptop would really be convenient for university and I've wanted one for such a long time as I don't even own a computer. (If I'm online, its because I'm using one of my housemates computers.)

Now its gone.

Also, there's an electricity bill, and I've not payed my internet bill for awhile and my housemate is calling me up on it now. This is fair of him to do, but in total with the electricity bill it puts me out another $240.

I nearly cried.

I feel a little productive. I've finally got that new laptop I've been meaning to get for ages (typing on it now in fact!)
I've arranged to see that guy about credit transfer into the IT degree. Gonna see him tomorrow. I've also arranged to meet up with my friend about that website project we're gonna work on.
One of my sisters says a lady she used to work for is looking for bar staff and gave me her number. I keep trying to call but she's either away or I get an answering machine. >.<

I'm making a curry for dinner and a tapioca pudding for dessert. I should start cooking soon really! (This is noted in a productivity sort of section because normally I'm terribly lazy about eating!)

Things are getting sorted. Horray, horray.

Australia day is not typically my happiest day of the year. I'm not going to say anything to make the_bretwalda want to punch me in the face though. *grins mischievously*

All that same, I'm in a decent mood. So, so, so much better than yesterday! I'm going to outback jacks for lunch with a few friends, and then possibly the beach. My family is hosting a BBQ too, so if they're still partying hard after the lunch affair with friends is done I'll head around there. (Mum will be there though. Eep. Aha)
After that, I've been invited to have some drinks and watch movies with Cav and his ex-housemate.

With a full day like that surrounded by friends and family, and getting to see Mr. Cav. how could I not be anticipating a splendid day? *smile*

I woke up in a bad mood, and its stuck all day. I'm am in a hideous frame of mind.

I talked to Tamala for a fair bit today, on subjects ranging from very unhappy to very happy. It was good. I love that girl.

I'm considering making some food and then going to sleep. I just want it to be tomorrow already and unconsciousness might give me the illusion time isn't passing. <3

Ages ago I said that some friends and I went to the beach for my 22nd and that photos were taken, but I didn't have them, but if I did I'd probably post them? Well I have them, so I'm posting them. Also I'll write a bit about the people too, because I think barely anyone who follows this journal actually knows any of these folk.

( Images under the cut )

I need to get off my ass and do some important things. I've been s lazy. I need to get my university paperwork up to date, then I need to tell my pension people that I'm still studying so they don't cut off my funds, and honestly I should finally do something about getting some gorram ID. I've been lazy and lazing. Its been right pleasant.

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm dating Cav now. He's been over the last few days. We've been hanging together and watching various delicious media. While he was over we finished season four of House, watched some Harvey Birdman, went through John Saffrans Musical Jamboree again, watched a little Cromartie High and some Cowboy Beebop.

I would like a real room with real walls plzkthx. After I broke up with Matt he seemed to gain custody of the bedroom, while I have a mattress in the living room. I'm still paying as much rent as everyone else. I think this is a crappy deal. I tried bringing it up before, and I imagine I'll try again. Sleeping on a mattress on the living room floor sucks. I think I'll mention I either want to pay less rent for this shit, or find a new place. I like privacy yo and I don't have it. *grumble*

Been playing around more with makeup. I don't think I'm a fan. 'Cause when I put it on, I'm all a paying attention to my flaws and then I notice my flaws in ways I tend not to notice, and then I feel ugly.

Ignorance on the matter is probably bliss.

The last post I made was supposed to go to the daily lolita community. *fail*

Hmm. I guess its been awhile since my last update.

Christmas with the family went well. my brother gave me a high five because Mum didn't yell at me once. When mum first saw me there she said hello in like, the iciest tone possible, and started really angrily beating the ice in the drink cooler. I think the angry-ice-beating got it out of her system because after that she was all civil.
I hear its a very good thing I missed the family new years eve party event though. Apparently Mum was "not on her best behavior" as it were and managed to piss a whole lot of people off. I imagine my presence couldn't have helped things.

I've not yet sorted that going back to university thing. I went in to do it today, but the fellow I need to talk to is apparently on leave. I was told he's still answering emails though, so I'll shoot one off to him. What I ended up doing at uni was printing out my transcript, looking at the IT course, and seeing exactly how much crossover I'd need to do.
One of the lecturers ran into me and we ended up chatting about it. He told me when talking to the dude about transferring course credit, not to even mention the maths courses at all if I can help it.
Said if I'm lucky the dude will just assume that after 3 years of multimedia I might have picked up some basic maths for computing and could possibly scratch it off the list of things I have to do, along with the basic 'foundations in computer communications' course.

I also caught up with a university mate. I suggested earlier in the semester to him that we could possibly work on creating some sort of spiffy internet application like a fake/cheap facebook or avatar forum. Just to you know, get our elite php and javascript skills up. He got back to me on it, and we might make it happen.

Or we could spend the majority of our time talking about random shit like we ended up doing today. We at least got a word document with detailed goals stated.
I almost never finish projects I start for my personal life. *flails*